stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
