Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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