I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
