Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
