There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize