Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
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I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
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I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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