im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
