So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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