Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
