best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
