I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
