So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Randomize
