Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
