well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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