she is the kim kardashian of front butts
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
