We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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