Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
