If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
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