True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
