you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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