Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
