Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
