i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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