she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Rumble strips road head = magical
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
