bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
