Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Are we still banned from the library?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
