If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize