After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
