he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
