Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
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