Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
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