Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
