According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
