the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
