she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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