on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
