the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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