Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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