Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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