Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
