you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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