i wish starbucks made bloody marys
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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