we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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