he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize