i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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