Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
did you just send me my own nude
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
