What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize