He is such a slut. More and more my type.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
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ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize