it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
