I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
