The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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