Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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