It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
