I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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