hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
