Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
