I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
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