Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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