I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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