if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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