THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
