I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
i think my cat just said my name.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
