I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
