I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
