I looked at my own cervix.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
